I know exactly what happened to her, as I’ve seen it many times. Washington just hates anyone who is too obvious about being stylish and successful – especially if that person is “staff”. It’s moronic, it’s sometimes vicious, but it’s very predictable. Ms. Rogers thought her participation in fashion and the performing arts were an asset to White House entertaining. In the real world, the world of results, most sane people would have agreed. But in Washington, as Vince Foster famously said, “destroying people is a sport.”

With her brilliance, style and femininity, she drew attention to herself, rather than the Obamas, and in that she committed what Washington views as an unforgivable sin: “Thou shalt not stand out.” Just watch the news and see how the truly powerful women present themselves. Hillary Clinton, Madeleine Albright, Senators Blanche Lincoln and Kay Bailey Hutchison? The highest fashion statement allowed is a nice St. John suit, preferably black, but cherry red allowed for festive occasions. Bonus points – it doesn’t wrinkle. And on their feet, sensible pumps. You never see a ruffled violet blouse, or a pretty skirt and jacket that don’t match. The height of jewelry style is the ubiquitous eagle-on-a-pearl pin. It’s a uniform, and every woman in power is supposed to adopt it, if she wants to be taken seriously.

In New York and Los Angeles successful women get to express themselves with their individual taste and observers enjoy it. In fact, who will even believe you’re successful if you don’t flaunt it? In Washington, God forbid you draw attention to yourself for your femininity or fashion sense. The old boys’ club doesn’t like being reminded that it’s no longer just an “old boys” club. Remember Hillary and her black pant suits? She did that to make people take her seriously – and it worked. Ms. Rogers didn’t understand that as STAFF, she’s not supposed to be in the news. She’s supposed to be behind the scenes and as invisible as she can make herself. Interviews with Vanity Fair, Vogue and the WSJ are simply not part of that program. She stuck her neck out, probably because her many successes in Chicago and her longtime friendship with both Obamas made her feel secure. But she’s not their only friend, and apparently Axelrod and Jarrett and some of the rest of them also didn’t like her prominent public image. So, off with her head (metaphorically speaking.)

That’s Washington’s sad reality.

We happened to arrive at the beginning of the biggest blizzard in Washington in 90 years, but I remember one just about this wild, in 1993. We knew it was coming, so my assistant and I stayed in the office until midnight, cranking out letters to Members of Congress. We had no idea when we’d be able to get back in – and that was days later. The White House is amazing in EVERY kind of weather.

The House looks beautiful, as always. I like the changes Mrs. Bush made, moving the Georgia O’Keefe painting from the Green Room to the Library. It’s so completely 20th century in that 19th century room. I was struck by how extraordinary the flower arrangements are. The new chief florist has a very different, contemporary vision and expresses it in tall glass vases with twigs tied around the outside with twine, and flowering quince branches spreading out. Some vases are covered in wavy Magnolia leaves – like the pleating on a Fortuny dress. Exquisite! The White House has always had gorgeous flowers, but now they reflect the youth and style of the current First Family. I remember once coming back from a trip to London. I rushed to the flower shop to tell the chief florist that the White House has WAY better flowers than the Queen does at Buckingham Palace

I connected with US Secret Service Uniform Division officers who remembered me, and household staff – some of whom have been there 20 years or more. Gave out some books, with a wink, and told them they’d remember a lot of these stories. A Congressman in the room rushed over and said, “Melinda! Oh my gosh! I heard your voice and knew it had to be you! How nice to see you, and what a great time we had in the Clinton years…”

It was a very emotional visit for me. Walking past the East Wing doorway to our office suite, seeing the ramp I had built for mobility-impaired guests, walking through these familiar spaces, remembering events from press conferences to holiday balls, arranging lunch for PM Begin and Arafat in the Library, sweeping up the stairs to the East Room in a ball gown, standing out on the South Lawn in the freezing dawn, waiting for Marine One (the President’s helicopter) to arrive, wilting out there in 100 degree heat and humidity during an Arrival Ceremony … I tell some GREAT stories about all this in my book (click above to buy!)

The Secret Service and Visitors Office very kindly let me contribute to the special tour for the group I brought, so it felt just like old times. How I loved my time there, and how I miss being in the heart of the most important place in America. And here’s a little secret no one else will tell you: It’s a LOT of fun to be important, and a little hard to let that all go when it’s time!

Melinda Bates in the Rose Garden with one of the Thanksgiving turkeys the President pardons every year.

That’s me in the picture there, and you may wonder why I’m petting a turkey.  Good question!  (‘Cause, you know, who does that?  Not to mention, isn’t that the biggest turkey you’ve ever seen?)  Well, that’s not just ANY turkey.  That’s the official, White House turkey!  You’ve probably seen a video clip of a President smiling, laying his hand on a humongous white bird and officially “pardoning” it, as the beginning of Thanksgiving.  This happens every year in the White House Rose Garden, and there I am, just before President Bill Clinton steps out of the Oval Office (far left corner) to honor this tradition.

Why am I there?  That’s another good question.  I’m there because my office, for all eight years of the Clinton administration, was just across the House in the East Wing.  Every morning I’d see the President’s schedule for official events.  So, when the President was doing something fun and interesting, I’d walk on over to watch.  Just one of the incredible perks of being a Special Assistant to the President and Director, White House Visitors Office – and of being a lifelong friend of Bill.

For this particular event, the turkey farmer selected brings a van with not one, but two of these huge birds.  Why two?  Because 1) the birds are so darn top-heavy you never know if or when they might just topple over and lie there with their little feet in the air (NOT a great visual for TV) and 2) you also never know when they might keel over from the sheer excitement and stress of the moment, and then you’d have a DEAD turkey for the shot, and that would be horrible!  So there’s always a back-up turkey.  Just in case.  And POTUS pardons it, and it goes off to live in a petting zoo somewhere.  Probably just as well.  I always thought there could be no natural way to grow a turkey that size.

And that’s it for the official celebration of Thanksgiving at the White House.  The actual day and family feast is private, just the First Family and friends, gathered either at the White House or Camp David – a really nice place for everyone to relax, get together, play games or sports and enjoy some quiet time together.  The Clintons used to celebrate the day before by going, all by themselves, to a Washington soup kitchen to prepare and serve meals to the homeless.  I well remember the first year they did this, 1993, and how hard some Members of Congress pressed to get to go with them, and how hard the press pushed for major coverage.  But for Bill and Hillary this was a private moment of personal charity, something they’d been doing for years, and they didn’t want to turn it into a press, photo-op moment – so they pushed back just as hard!

There was also an earlier (FAR earlier) Thanksgiving I shared with Bill Clinton when we were both freshmen at Georgetown, but you should read about it in my book, White House Story, a Democratic Memoir!

It’s a long way from the White House and Washington DC to Calafia Paradise Resort in Rosarito Beach, Mexico, where I now happily live.  Instead of chilly, overcast weather we enjoy days of brilliant, warm sunshine, cool breezes and crystal blue skies.  We’ll probably have our Thanksgiving feast outside, gathering our friends on the patio, looking past the flowers in my garden to the dolphins fishing just off shore.  Maybe a whale, a forerunner of the pods to come in December, will cruise by, showing us a spout, or slapping a fin on the water.  Maybe we’ll take a dip in one of the pools after dinner to burn off some calories, and for sure we’ll walk the dogs along the cliff edge, or take them for a run on the beach – these are NEW traditions for us, and we love them.

The food will be even better than it was back home, because here we can get fresher produce, at the organic farmers’ market, richer cream, and just about all the traditional ingredients.  And what’s not available here we can easily get right across the border in San Diego – at Costco or Vons.  So, cooks have the best of both worlds!  And that proximity to San Diego means it’s easy for family and friends to fly or drive here for the holidays and share them with us.

So, yes, it’s a long way from “home,” but THIS is now home, and we couldn’t be happier.  We believe we’ve come to the perfect spot in a wonderful, welcoming country, with a much lower cost of living, security and amenities we could only dream of back in the U.S.  We’d be very happy to welcome YOU as new neighbors and friends, so please come take a look at Calafia Paradise Resort!